A responsibility chart lists what each person in the house takes on, and when. One to three lines per child is the working range. Before you pick a template, settle two things: which lines go in the boxes, and which point in the day each line hangs on.
Templates are easy to find. Once the chart is on the wall, two questions are left over, and no template answers them: what to write in the boxes, and what to do the day nobody fills them in.
What belongs on the chart
A responsibility comes back at the same moment every week, and it belongs to the child: taking the bin out on Tuesday evening, bringing the laundry down on Saturday morning.
A one-off is different. Tidying the living room because grandparents are coming, bringing the washing in before the rain. You ask for it out loud, and it has no business on the chart.
Sorting this takes five minutes. Go back over what you have already written down and keep only the lines that will come round again next week, at the same moment.
| Responsibility | One-off | |
|---|---|---|
| When it happens | Same moment, every week | Whenever the need comes up |
| Who decides | Agreed in advance, calmly | The parent, on the spot |
| On the chart | Yes | No |
| Example | Bin out on Tuesday evening | Tidy the living room before a visit |
One to three lines per child
The American Academy of Pediatrics advises adding tasks one at a time and warns about long lists: "introduce one new task at a time; a long list can be overwhelming".
On a chart, that means one line to start with. Three at most, once the first ones have held for a few weeks without you having to remind anyone.
A fourth line costs nothing to write. It costs at the checking stage: four lines per child and three children is twelve checks a day, and you are the one doing them.
If you are not sure which lines suit which age, the chore chart by age sets out what a child can do alone and what they can do with you, from 3 to 14.
Hang each line on something that already happens
A responsibility set for 6pm depends on what time you get home. A responsibility set for after dinner depends on nothing else, because dinner happens every evening.
Take the moments your evening already contains, the end of the meal or the trip to the bathroom, and hang the chart lines on them. Your child no longer has to remember the chart. They know the bin goes out after the meal.
Write both the task and the moment in the box. "Bin" becomes "Bin, after dinner".
The day nobody fills the chart in
A chart that stays empty for three days running does not need another rule. It needs one change, and one at a time.
Three changes, in this order:
- Take a line off. The one to drop is the one you have to chase most often.
- Move the moment. A responsibility that lands during homework or right before bed lands at the worst point of the evening. Pull it forward, before dinner.
- Change the format. Paper works as long as somebody looks at the wall. If nobody looks any more, tick somewhere else: a notebook, a whiteboard, a phone.
The American Academy of Pediatrics is direct about what not to do at this point. Badgering or scolding does not get a child to take on more responsibility, while rewarding what went well and encouraging works far better.
Their wording: "Badgering or scolding a child is not an effective method to get them to accept more responsibility; rewarding successes and providing encouragement is always much more effective".
Two children, two charts
On a shared chart with one column per child, children read across the columns. Whoever has the fewest ticks notices, and you spend the evening refereeing.
A chart each removes the comparison, and lets you write different lines for different ages.
If your children are more than three years apart, count the time each line takes. Two lines for the older one can take as long as a single line for her six-year-old brother.
What the chart will not fix
The chart makes the agreement visible. It does not create the willingness to follow it, and it replaces none of the decisions that come first.
Two of those decisions are yours. First: are these responsibilities paid? If that question is live in your house, how much allowance by age covers amounts and the link with chores.
Second: are you rewarding, and how? The reward chart method sets out what separates a reward agreed in advance from a negotiation in the heat of the moment.
If your child has a diagnosed attention disorder, a standard chart needs adjusting, and reward charts and ADHD covers a few of them. For anything touching the diagnosis itself, talk to the professional who follows your child.
Key takeaways
- Keep only what comes back at the same moment every week, like the bin on Tuesday evening. One-offs, like tidying up before a visit, get asked for out loud.
- One line per child to start with, three at most. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends introducing one task at a time and warns that a long list becomes overwhelming.
- Write the moment in the box. "Bin, after dinner" holds better than "Bin" or "Bin, 7pm".
- When the chart stays empty for several days, take a line off or move the moment. Do not add a rule, and do not raise it again every evening.
- One chart per child. On a shared chart, children count each other's boxes.
Harmonia does the same thing on a phone: each responsibility with its moment, and the box to tick on the child's side. Get Harmonia.
Frequently asked questions
What is a responsibility chart?
It is a visible list of what each person in the house takes on, with the moment it happens. It differs from an ordinary chore list on one point: every line belongs to someone and comes back at the same moment each week. One to three lines per child is enough.
What is the difference between a chore chart and a responsibility chart?
In practice most templates use the two names for the same thing. The useful distinction is not the name but what goes in the boxes: recurring lines that belong to a named child, rather than a running list of whatever needs doing this week.
How do you make a responsibility chart for kids?
Pick one line per child, tie it to a moment that already exists in your day, and write both in the box. Put the chart where the moment happens, not where it looks tidy. Add a second line only once the first has held for a few weeks.
How do you make a chore chart for two kids?
Make two charts. On a shared chart with a column each, children compare columns and you spend the evening refereeing. Separate charts also let you match the lines to each child's age instead of splitting everything down the middle.
How many chores should a child have?
One to start, three at most at any one time. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises introducing one new task at a time because a long list can be overwhelming. Add the next only when the current ones happen without reminders.
Paper chart or app?
Paper works while somebody is looking at the wall. It runs out of road when parents live in two homes, or when nobody remembers to tick. Harmonia takes the same idea onto a phone: one responsibility, its moment, and the box to tick on the child's side.
